oOMyNameIsLIJINOo

I feel really fucked up now..

2008-08-09T03:01:00.002+08:00

Because i didnt tell many ppl about this blog.. i can peacefully vent out my anger and frustration here.. FUCK MAN!!!! i feel REALLY REALLY FUCK UP NOW!

something happened to me which is rather drama again.. 2years back.. my best friend got to know a girl and wanted to go after her.. but she turned lesbian and so he gave up.. he got another gf later on but broke up after a while.. 6 months or more ago.. my best friend intro me to the girl and we were sort of like friends now.. i took abit interest in the girl cause i feel that she isnt bad and have alot of potential to be a great wife.. so when she broke up with her ex-gf.. i wanted to know her better but there was a problem..

my best friend and i know each other for 14yrs now.. so in a instance.. i know he still have feelings for her and he knows i show interest too.. so i decided to give up after a night of deep thoughts.. i was feeling realli realli fuck up as to hiding the fact and not saying out so i decided to say everything out to both the girl and my best friends.. i removed myself from the picture..

the girl on the other hand was trying to patch up with her ex-gf but i feel something happened and she isnt realli happy about it.. so i went and talk to her when she was online.. at the same time my best friend was talking to her as well.. he was talking as a friend and an admirer where i was just as a friend showing concern.. true enough that i feel happy talking to her, seeing her.. but then again i wont cross my line.. i wont back out on the words i spoken.. but my best friend did something really fuck up n piss me off which cause me to realli feel what i did was worthy anot..

he told me "u dun go and disturb her.. she is taking to both u and me now.. very hard for her.." immediately my internal response was "WTF?!" seriously.. she talking to me was that BAD TO U!? or for her!? we are juz friends.. but then.. i dunno what can i reply so i just say "nvm i dun disturb her then.." i seriously dunno what is the meaning of these action.. JEALOUSY? PROTECTION? FEAR? WANNA DOMINATE HER ALONE? OVER-SENSITIVE? i no longer know what my friend is thinking..

all i did was talking normally.. not even showing any other concern.. but seriously.. that immediately threw me into a bad mood and i dun feel like talking to him anymore.. so i juz told him that i wont disturb her.. and that's it i shut up. i even cancel the meet up we were gonna have the next day.. i really feel that he is being a bastard after all i have done... and i did nothing wrong.. TOTALLY NOTHING WRONG..

SO LONG NV BLOG!!!

2008-07-28T21:30:00.003+08:00

it have been more than a month since i last blog an entry.. damn boring.. dun feel like going online much either.. so everyday just play game.. of cause.. do some SECRETS XD hahaha.. nothing much to do.. improve my own techinal skills and design skills... basically now butt and hip kinda hard to move.. not every movement is possible.. wah kaoz.. if ask me to make love with a girl now.. i think the girl will feel damn disappointed lah.. so many position cannot do.. HAHAHAHA! crazy.. now still can think of this type of things.. LOL..

oo ya.. i did something for someone oversea.. that someone is my good friend and she is like damn lonely oversea lah.. her 21st birthday.. she like damn sad and fuss over it.. HAAHAHHA! very funny sia when i read her email n blog.. she like wanna sever ties with me sia.. hahaha. but without her knowing.. i did something for her.. although its free ^^ [I NO MONEY NOW! very poor =( ] hahahaha and here's what i did...

how's it? not bad right? i recently learn something new also.. realli nothing much to do.. AND ITS ALL DONE BY ME! i didnt use any picture of what k.. i juz start with a blank new page.. LOL!.. LIJIN IS HARDCORE NOW! hardcore? sounds so wrong...... hahaha but nvm.. i admire my work ^^ hahaha i'm gay with myself ^^ hahahaha! okie till next entry..

*Jin[z]

***Boring + Moodless...

2008-06-22T21:16:00.005+08:00

really nothing to do.. really really damn bored.. how i hope people can give me direction on whether to go now and what to do now.. i'm like a decaying walking dead man now... haiz... i dun feel good too and on top of that.. i read this stupid but nice manga called "Suzuka" on www.onemanga.com and guess what.. it disturbed me -_- i'm emotionally disturbed! okie lah.. feel heart-warming.. happy? and in the end.. jealous? cause its all fantasy and seldom happen in reality ya?

envy those all the characters inside.. not that they get alot of rubba rubba heisho heisho.. or rather.. the story itself i like it alot.. the girl always have that damn hardcore character that you wont find in real life girl i guess.. or maybe hardly find? dun ask me why.. i juz like reading manga n comics at time and i'm emo.. so ya.. will feel things de =X Suzuka is one.. Hana Kimi is another.. both not bad.. oo by the way.. i preferred those school life ones rather then "ARGH!" big big powerful shit comes out or what.. school life + romance + comedy + action.. be it shounen or shoujo.. both also can de lah =X ooo ya.. suzuka n hana kimi is both about high jumps n running =P guy HJ girl running or the opposite =P hahaha

its always this love at first sight thing when they see their partner (stranger) doing some sport and "WOW!" or dumbfound.. like "the most beautiful girl i ever see...", etc... hahaha but in real life? it happens sometime too =P hahahah cause it happened once to me.. i'm a all-rounder dude.. i can run.. i can swim.. i can play basketball.. i can design and draw well.. i can study well.. basically jack of all trade but i'm not god or genius =P hahaha its the fact k! so nothing bothers me.. always slacking.. then ar... aiya dunno how to explain.. show in list better.. my encounters =P now then i think of them.. its actually quite fun..

Girls that I have crush before..
1st girl: She runs fast and she is older than me by 4

2nd girl: She is tall.. **** she became my gf later on.. she is in netball

3rd girl: She was known to be most "wanna show off" girl in my sec. batch and she was my first gf =X she is also in netball..

4th: A quiet and funny girl.. she is in netball.. not very tall but cute i think..

5th: DRAMA! this girl isnt realli pretty but she used to be realli innocent.. I was slacking like no one business in the sch canteen after my nap in class (after school) sun was already setting cause around 5pm liao.. I saw this girl running then she came into the canteen to rest.. wah kaoz.. instantly i wanted to know her.. -_- okie we were good until she become lesbian but now she is a goner.. SUPER JIALAT girl.. -_-

6th: a girl from my pri. sch.. cute? being with her feels good.. she became my girl too after a long long chase =P quite tiring...

7th: my poly course mate.. okie.. quiet and "LOOKED" mature girl.. my last gf..

8th: this is the worst girl i ever have crush on.. probably only very chio? slim n tall.. nothing much.. total **** up girl

9th: this is the last girl i encounter who knows how to cook, filial, responible.. realli talented and hardworking.. working capability is topnotch.. she is pretty (not so tall only) and have good figure as well.. almost like a perfect girl.. maybe i dunno her flaws yet =P but she is my senior =X

9 only.. like very little but i feel kinda silly when i think back.. how the things happened and what happened between me and them.. like the 5th one.. she is not really pretty.. i'm serious.. okie she is tall but somehow.. its the "WOW!" look on my face.. like those in manga.. hahaha but i not as hardy as those guys in manga who can wait 3 yrs.. i at most 2 yrs -_- hahahha.. i got friends who can realli wait long long.. 5 yrs! MR HO! 3 yrs MR CHONG! hahahhahaha!!!!!! silly me..

i also dunno why i wanna post this but juz feel like it.. i envy stories, tales and all.. cause now.. working like mad.. no more studying.. planning for future.. neglecting all.. havent had a gf in 4yrs now =X hahaha.. but still.. i feel good.. then again.. envy.... after reading those manga.. i tend to stay up in the night and think.. wonder and think.. anything everything can come into my mind.. hahahaha.. i ever dreamt of the "perfect" girl... hahaha! but it was a good dream though i didnt see her face.. i miss SCHOOL LIFE! i miss my sec school THE MOST! if i have a time machine.. hahahahha! first would be three kingdom era.. help SHU win that fucking war.. NEXT would be my sec school life.. go back n enjoy for 4 years... shiok.. =X

okie nvm i think i'm crazy for posting such shit today.. i juz feel like typing out something.. juz feel like saying out something.. hahaha.. i'm silly-ing laughing while typing.. think i'm crazy.. hahaha.. ooo ya.. this is the girl from SUZUKA.. damn nice!!!!!! i like her hair.. ROCKS.. okie guys who know me well knows i realli realli have short hair fetish =X and fierce girl fetish as well =P

I T S . A . S H O U N E N . C O M I C S !

*Jin[z]

DISCHARGED!

2008-06-19T13:01:00.002+08:00

yesterday i went into hospital for operation.. due to my left hip.. wah kaoz.. then today discharged le. FIT RIGHT!? LOL! hahahaha.. so fast go in so fast discharge.. damn power man but then.. the lower half of my body damn hard to move due to the scar i have. its a big big scar.. think at least got 12cm.. hahahha! steam... but i tell u.. the process is damn sianz and feels like shit..

before operation.. everything was okie until my body went into the operation threatre.. LOL! they give me all those medicine to knock me out.. realli like 5 10secs i black out liao.. the moment i wake up.. i'm lying on a bed waiting to be collected.. THAT WAS THE WORST FEELING! cause first i'm like damn dizzy then whole body painful.. dunno where the fuck i was.. fucking horrible feeling man.. i cant even eat yesterday. feel like vomitting.. cause they got insert a tube into my wind-pipe to transfer oxygen in while i'm in coma.. LOl.. alot of shit lah..

I cant type already.. sitting infront of my com also makes my body feels tired.. the side effect is still there.. haiz.. dying le lah!

*Jin[z]

When i thought i can finally rest...........-_-"

2008-06-16T09:41:00.002+08:00

just when i thought i can finally rest.. calls start coming in again! what the hell! i'm not getting sgt or 2lt pay lehz... can u all spare me? i'm just a private damn it! though gonna promote soon but still.. i'm a "man" in the army.. what the hell.. initially i didnt wanna go for commander cause is the same reason i'm having now... I DUN WANNA HAVE RESPONSIBILITY IN ARMY! cause i feel that its a burden to me... -_-" things that dun require my attention i wont wanna have anything to do with it cause 1st its troublesome and secondly i'm lazy, thirdly i wanna do my own things.. =P

haiz.. still.. i had fun over these days.. friday finish work book out relax.. saturday went for patsy's BBQ.. so many big sister and brothers there.. they always call themselves uncle aunts =P hahaha.. but then got a few pretty de.. not bad not bad.. kinda have fun.. though someone was there -_- or rather.. someTHINGS were there.. i think there was a dialog about that not long ago.. when i was having dinner with peishan..

peishan: "u know "S" always wanna try talk to u but she scare..."
me: "scare what? if she realli wanna talk then she would already have..."
peishan: "patsy bday they might be going cause pat got invite them.."
me: "then???"
peishan: "if they come and greet you.. will u say hello back?"
me: "i will try provided they dare to greet me first.. hahahaha"

either isnt dun dare or dun wanna.. simple as that.. the guy was one of my best friends that's why we become the worst of friends now.. hmmm i wont considered that worst of friends.. more like enemy? ya.. and he is in my camp.. so i'll be seeing him alot.. but then again i'm going operation.. LOL! but still he will probably be in my camp due to the fact his gf lives just several hundred meters away from the camp.. LOL! can go for quickie u know =X HAHAHHAHA! disgusted -_-" yesterday went out with junda and kelvin also got talk abt this.. their reaction was fuck up...

kelvin: "so how u wan them to greet u?"
junda: " good morning mr. honggggg......KAN na.."
me: "wtf? -_-"

hahahahah! stupid people always mix with stupid people and in the end all become so damn smart... hahahaha! this type of lame chat also have.. cant take it.. we are simply idiots -_-

ARGH! later still must go back camp.. SIAN SIAN SIAN!!!!!!!

*Jin[z]

I'm the busiest "MAN" [Private] in my battalion

2008-06-12T01:20:00.006+08:00

I'm so SHAG AGAIN! ... still doing my work and tomorrow or rather later in the morning i have duty.. sianz.. realli feel like dying already.. quite drained now.. ar! everything have to screw up last minute.. fuck up! my friends nv use the correct templates i set for them.. then nv save in the correct format and stuff.. ARGH! everything have to screw up at the very last minute.. fuck! higher rankings are rushing and calling for the work.. i'm like what? busy with this SAF Day project.. busy with being a BQ (quarter master), busy with my duties and busy with my own personal work.. -_______-" can someone please help me T.T i'm realli gonna die.. haiz..

still have like REALLI TONS of work to do man.. fucking hell.. trying to hand over my BQ duty since i going for operation but the current ass who is supposed to take over.. is playing punk.. maybe i should let him taste abit of shit.. so that he will learn his lesson.. my mood is realli realli bad now.. today one of my friends called... he is a nice guy but i scolded him instead cause of something stupid n small..

HIM: "hey lijin.. later u coming back? or what?"
ME "ya.. later coming back after nights out hour.. "
HIM: "u clubbing now ar?"
ME: "fuck u.. i doing work.." i was realli realli angry and pissed..

why? cause my surrounding is quiet? since i'm at home.. then his question sounds as if its an answer or fact.. u clubbing... WTF.. come on.. surrounding is quiet and its 8pm.. WHO THE FUCK WILL CLUB AT 8pm!? omg.. i'm like super busy and ppl still ask me shit! n more importantly.. i onli slept 3hrs yesterday.. today 5pm after my medical appointment.. i was trying to sleep for a few hours.. then more than 10 calls and msgs came in.. -_-" screwed my resting time and later i still have to work.. fuck them.. cant they settle things on their own?

"BRING OUT THE LEADER IN YOU. JOIN THE ARMY. OUR DECISIVE FORCE" ...ALL HAIL THIS WONDERFUL FAKE SENTENCE cause most of the dumbfuck who go OCS and spec course are realli dumbfucks who think they have leadership.. NO! they dun have and they are simply following orders.. obeying instruction and carrying them out.. its not leadership.. its called "training to be lackeys".. seriously man.. stop wasting ppl's time.. i'm realli realli pissed now..

**today mood forecast is bad, swingy, low blood pressure and hot temperature..

*Jin[z]

TIRING! I'm doing my best though..

2008-06-11T02:09:00.000+08:00

seriously.. its really a tiring day or night.. i just ended my work and taken my shower 5mins ago and now.. its like 2.10am? wtf man.. i have to wake up around 6.15am for flag rising and stuff.. army is realli killing off my life.. i think my life now is -5yrs lifespan for now.. fuck!

army is always so damn disorganized although i know TV ad always show HOW DECISIVE our force is.. or whatever it is lah fuck.. i seriously barely hanging on now.. lack of sleep and concentration and due to some factors.. i'm being more n more exhausted as the days goes by............. haiz... i wanna die dude.. kill me with a toothpick.. thanks..

my upper study ORD already and nv even handed down any shit.. at first still down there "ya before i ORD.. i will help u burn all the stuff into a CD or whatever and let the big shot keep it so in future if u need anything can get from there.." wah.. surprisingly none.. i seriously dislike his method of working and dunno what he is thinking also.. he hide so many shit and in the end i have to "TA" all the shit he left behind and now.. WOW.. i'm suffering.. but my friends are as well.. fuck him -_-" then nvm.. after everything.. i dun have support of my BC who thinks that i'm like what? taking off for fun!? hey come on lah.. I'M WORKING HERE! HELLO!? army full of manpower and muscle and CURRENTLY PROGRESSING ONTO 3G soldiers.. 3G my _|_... all still fucking no brain and seriously dun even have common sense and taste lah fuck..

i'm freaking tired then nvm.. i went to see this blog of hers.. a girl that i wanna know.. i repeat "I WANNA KNOW".. not i like.. her friends are like indirectly teasing me? or something like that.. makes me feel like a fool in a sense.. machiam she is a lesbian then i trying to know a lesbian? i dunno what they are talking about anyway.. juz my wild guess but it kinda turn off my mood though.. knowing something like that or feeling something like that.. IT JUST MAKES MY DAY.. -_________-" i'm totally bursted...

18th JUNE operation but not feeling anything at the moment.. later morning going for checkup again.. check what HIV.. fuck lah.. i dun go geylang and stuff.. so how the fuck i will tio? through my family ar? cannot be right.. through friends.. maybe? through girlfriends? impossible.. some of u know the reasons =X haiz.. still got so many shit to "TA" before i can get my rest and also my rewards.. fucking hell.. i juz wish i have "CLICK".. one button and that's it.. i'll be 70 years old by then.. with like 24 grandchildren? wow.. basketball cum soccer cum volleyball team!

I'M so FUCKED**

*Jin[z]

*My most RECENT RENDER~

2008-06-10T21:13:00.000+08:00

Bedroom - two placement same concept

Rooftop - enclosed with two views

Rooftop - open concept with two views

this is my recent renders and design for one of my friend's terrace house in pasir pajang there.. one renovate a room and a rooftop =X plus several other makeover all over the house.. LOL!

so what do u think of the renders? quite draft ones =P

Reblogger

2008-06-10T11:32:00.001+08:00

So long nv blog liao.. think i closed my blog last year around april due to some stuff.. hahaha so now ya.. nothing to do in army so post again lor.. LOL!.. boring like hell.. wanna die le.. sianz.. but now i gonna be out of army for a period due to operation of my left hip.. muhahaha.. good + bad news.. good news is can stay at home do my own stuff and bad is that i'm worry abt the operation of the hip cause there are several risks in this operation.. sad

18th june operation day but 17th need to do some final checkup le.. haiz.. i hope nothing will happen.. hope the operation wont damage my other parts like kidney or bladder.. later next time cannot PEE! =P nothing much to type.. will update soon again.. ooo.. i getting to know someone.. maybe next time can post abt it IF i'm successful.. LOL!

*Jin[z]